ok. so i havent written anything in a while, as my mom pointed out to me, i've been meaning to...i think i just didnt know what to write about.

sometimes i dont really want to write about all my problems on here, although, when i'm writing it seems like those things are in the forefront (?) of my mind. but, did have an amazing weekend. i went home. i really needed to go home. i get so lonely here at school. home re-energizes me. well, people energize me. you might be thinking..."arent there people at johnson?" yes, in fact, there are people at johnson. but i just dont seem to connect with any of them on a level of connectedness - and i need connectedness. so i went home for my moms birthday. it was awesome. but i'm sad cuz i had to leave, and because my package STILL has yet to arrive. ugh! and i got to see scott, which was awesome. but i cried when he left.....i just feel lonely. its hard being me sometimes. because i know reality. i know ill be with him forever. i know that it'll be ok, and time will pass, but..i'm also very emotional. so i go from having an amazing weekend, to being terribly sad because its over and i have to come back to school. and i think "but you had an AWESOME weekend, and you got to spend time with people..etc" yea, i know this, but i still get sad. its so confusing sometimes.

but. kim is coming this weekend and i'm really excited about it. yay! i wish i had more money though. and i had to take the whole week off because i have to go to this conference, which i had to pay for. so frustrating.

when i was watching the super bowl i was thinking about money and i thought...ya know, america is in such a deficit, and everyone around me is losing their jobs, and not finding jobs, and losing money, and getting pay cuts, and everything...yet we're paying athletes millions...MILLIONS of dollars to win a football game, or a basketball game, ...or actors to be in a movie....now i love movies, but...cant they give us some of their money!? some people are billionaires.......to act? or run? ...it just doesnt make sense to me. i'm good at stuff, but ill never have a job making more than...40,000 a year? its sad. and i dont care, really, because i'm working for the Lord. but....its just disappointing sometimes because i need money so bad because i'm so in debt. its irritating.

anyway. enough ranting. i should get back to doing homework. so. this hasnt really been an exciting post, but hey, at least i wrote. :)